Is Chivalry Dead?

Whether you like her or not, this is the smartest article I've read in a very long time on the subject of feminism and all unwitting fallout from same. I wish I had written the piece myself...
More to come.

....aaaand, we're back. Though I still don't have all the answers- or even most of them. I do wonder if feminism in some way killed chivalry- and I say this as a lifelong feminist myself, so no virtual rotten tomatoes, please. The problem is, there isn't really a perfect answer to the whole gender thing- new way, old way, to misquote Janis Joplin for a sec, "it's all the same goddamn day".
What I liked about this article was the essential contradiction in modern society she struggles to explore and define, and to stare in the face some hard questions we "modern women" have been trying to avoid asking ourselves.

I don't pretend to know. I guess the best thing is to find someone to work it all out with, whom you're compatible with in your eccentricities, and take it from there. Maybe for some people it works to iron your man's shirts, cook all the meals, agree with everything he says no matter how stupid or uninformed, and realign all your personal stars to orbit around his world. I don't mean that to sound snide- I rather wish I were like that, myself. I'm sure life was a lot less complicated before we had free will, and before feminism brought with it the notion that things could and therefore should change. If you never bought into that, and you settled down with someone more old fashioned, more power to you. If however, you still have difficulty articulating for yourself what your role in society should be-- if you find yourself one way outside your home, and another way when you're in-- if you change your behavior to fit your surroundings and idea of what's accordingly appropriate-- then you really ought to be asking yourself if we won, if we lost, if the war is all over yet, or if there was really ever a point.

The fact is: "Ms. Magazine" kinda lied. I liked the glossy cover, too, and the power-suited woman on the front with big shoulder pads and helmet-hair boldly proclaiming we could have it all. Who wouldn't want that? and why shouldn't we be able to? But like it or not, things we can't control, no matter how smart or accomplished we are, these "things" do have an impact. Age. Biology. Physicality. We are limited in how long we can breed. We feel a biological imperative to continue this pathetic, mostly hopeless race. We are, for the most part, smaller and less strong than our male counterparts. We can, though it pains me, be physically overpowered. We thought by being smart and accomplished and out of the house we could change all these things, but you can't fool mother nature, and at the end of the day, we are different, with different abilities and limitations. No matter how advanced we get, we are still ruled by the limbic system. Would that that were not the case. But it is... so now. how do we deal with that? How do we correct the pendulum swing to what makes sense? How do we even begin to understand the problems inherent with just being one or the other, and come to some sort of common ground on which we can all agree?

I've worked pretty hard to be independent and self reliant, and not need anything someone else has to offer. Yet I don't like it when a man doesn't open my door. Obviously I don't think i need someone to open the door for me-- it's just an innate chip in me somewhere- I don't like rudeness, which I frequently equate with a decided lack of chivalry. Yet men tell me I can't be both-- I can't have it both ways-- I can't be a feminist who kept my name and thinks no one out there is the boss of me... and yet, still want a hand in the small of my back when we walk, someone to open the door, hail the cab, walk on the outside of the street, carry the bag. Defend my dubious honor when need be. You know. Maybe this means I'm a super-bitch who wants it all.Maybe i'm just unrealistic. But that's what I was promised, growing up in the '70's, and I still feel like it's my birthright, somehow to get to be both women. The one who takes care of myself, and the one who gets protected.
Where does this all converge? Does it?