ESL (when the first language is "Bimbo")*

"They dance so great. They're awesome," Spears said after watching the troupe rehearse.

Sooner or later it was bound to come to this. The fact that I! Hate!! Britney. Honestly, she embodies absolutely everything wrong with the world today, and is without a doubt the trashiest human being currently in the public eye. If the barefoot in the gas station restroom foot-funk didn't get you, how about that she also lives in barefoot harmony in a household with several un-housetrained canines... which she has her maid clean up after only every other day. That's a lot of barefoot in the poopie-- but this is a girl who had chicken fingers at her wedding, so why would I even be surprised.

In fact, let me remind myself this is also a girl who made the belly button public real estate. So-- a lot to be proud of, here. A lot.

However, all of this might be faintly tolerable-- if she could just frickin' stop herself from the relentless slaughter of my mother tongue. I am greatly alarmed. You should be, too. While English is not perhaps the loveliest of languages to listen to, it beats the hell out of German... and at the end of the day, if you're reading this then I assume you comprehend English. So you really should care. You should care!!! Someone out there is desecrating our way of communicating with one another.

Please. Somebody stop her from making public statements. As much as I want to feel smug and superior when I read the dumbass things she says, the sheer pain prevents me from even feeling a twinge of superiority-- and that's just BAD.

*in fact, my company blocked me from even searching for photos of her that would be appropriate to this post. I kept getting "blocked content/ SEX" messages from on high. if only.