Rude In Public!

Go ahead. Type it out.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Genital Plastic Surgery.

Leave it to the LA Times to break the story on this one: women are getting their hoo-ha's lasered, pinched, tucked and pulled "down there", in an effort to make it more aesthetically pleasing. The goal is porn star tautness, which apparently is all airbrushing, anyway.

Soooo.. the obvious problems with this all aside... well, wait. Let's just stay with the blatantly, abundantly clear. Here's a snip from the article, if you haven't already left me to read it:

Holly conceived the idea that her labia didn't look right while in her late teens, just as she became sexually active. Looking furtively at adult magazines or at her friends convinced her "this didn't look normal."

I ask you. WHO looks "furtively" at someone else's labia?!? Excuse me? Just how does that actually HAPPEN? Sneaking a peek at someone's pecker, sure, I get that. It's out there. But-- well, I'll spare us all the anatomy lesson, but---but--- suffice to say, something in this sentence did not compute. Plus where in the hell were little Holly's parents while she was also "furtively" looking at girly mags? Little furtive Holly, that saucy wench! But whatever. I digress.

Back to the article. We next learn that "For almost 30 years, her sense that her labia minora were too long 'constantly made me sad and not [feel] good about myself.'"

Seriously? Someone has enough time on her hands to sit and mull this over for 30-some-odd years? I love America, but this is a sign of all that is wrong in our society. You think women in Eritrea think like this? You think they care? If I actually had an opinion about this area of my body, I would be more than a little scared for myself. I mean... it just makes you wonder. Is this a weird body insecurity (and we all have 'em, granted) that organically just happens one day to a person? Or is this the direct result of some sex partner making a callous comment as to the look/ size/ etc. of yon nether regions..? I cannot even fathom keeping someone around who complained about the looks... but I suppose there's always room for one more insecure person on this planet. And don't be all like "hey, it's no different from your average bikini wax." Because IT IS.

Truly. This is way, way past "depressing". And who the hell are the doctors performing this shit?! We all know plastic surgery is here to stay. Ok, fine. But count my coochie out.


Anonymous Chanakin said...

I'm with ya.

She keeps her teeth in a glass next to the bed, but she's got the lap badger of a 20 year-old.

No thanks.

6:49 PM, March 15, 2006  
Anonymous heartinsanfrancisco said...

This is much too pitiful and bizarre to address adequately. I also noted the bit about little Holly "furtively" comparing her less-than-comely labia with her friends' and wondered if my grasp of anatomy was even worse than I thought. And who takes a mirror to that part of her body anyway? Mirrors are useful for putting on lipstick and checking for zits, which as far as I know does not apply in this instance. I could be wrong. Porn stars seem an unlikely ideal, considering how misshapen they must be from overuse, and the prospect of surgery in that region is too gruesome to contemplate. There must be better uses for ones time and money. I can't offhand think of a more unpleasant fixation, but thank you, Proud Mary, for calling attention to a growing concern.

7:01 PM, March 15, 2006  
Blogger banjoeyes said...

Ah yes the "ugly vagina"! I did once have roomate who told me, on a number of occasions, that hers was cute. WHATEVER! What's worse is that she let this fact be known to perfect strangers! And, yes Ms. Mary, I was scared for her. Well mostly I was scared for me cause there was no telling what this nut might do. She also mentioned bleaching the backside... maybe another affect from the glamorous porn star. Now I don't know which is worse the concern over your labias or the concern over your peri-anal area!

1:34 PM, March 18, 2006  
Blogger ProudMary said...

You know, Banjoeeyes... I think I was the one who told your ex-roommate about the butt-bleaching. Sorry. I ran into her after I saw that advertised... and you know me. I kind of had to tell.

1:50 PM, March 21, 2006  
Blogger Lazy Asian said...

to be honest - they all look pretty good to me. You know what they say about beggars...

12:02 PM, March 23, 2006  

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