The Assinator.
The Governator saw my ass.
This weekend. In Santa Monica.
Big sample sale. Maria swanning about.
There I was, behind a curtain trying on some stuff, and Maria swept through the curtained off area with armloads of swag on her way to the restroom. I guess when you're famous, you don't have to try on shit in public. Anyway, a minute later Ahnold busts through the curtain like the Kool-Aid man on the loose (*note, if this cultural reference means nothing to you, you are either too young to remember '70's tv commercials, you are canadian, or both.)
anyway! There I am, ass-out, in skimpy skivvies. I freeze. He freezes. Then he just starts laughing, deep laughs from the belly. Which then makes ME laugh, however inappropriate. Then Maria gives me the evil eye like I've never seen-- the lady literally raked her eyes over me top to toe, up, down, up, down, up, down, again... then sneered at me as if to say, "YOU AINT ALL THAT". (no one can give a dirty look like a woman to another woman. especially, i suppose, when one has just shown her ass to the other's husband. even if unintentionally.)(especially ridiculous when you consider said lady is taller, richer and prettier than i'll ever be... but whatever.)
-- So I ask you. Was it rude of Ahnold to push back the curtains in a women's clothing store dressing area, governor or not? is it conCEIVable he didn't know what the curtain meant? Or was it rude that my ass greeted him, front and center?
Regardless... I am somewhat concerned that my posts seem to all be about asses lately- mine or others. I'm turning into a boob.
posted by Anonyme. @ 11:29 AM
14 Comments:
She is such as ASS! HA!
No really...she got invited to this Oprah Legends Weekend and she brought her kids and was quoted as saying "I wanted them to see this"....like what black people?? Do they not have black people where you live??
And hello your face and your ass are much prettier than hers :-)
Good God, girl. She is NOT prettier than you, and taller and richer is beside the point. Even she knows this, or she wouldn't have fired her killer glare at you. And her voice sounds like an LP played at the wrong speed.
As for Herr Arrogant Boob Governor, he has always believed that he was above the laws that govern mere mortal behavior. Of course he knew it was a dressing room; he didn't care. But for his wife to blame the innocent women trying on clothes in an area that was set up to insure privacy is even more absurd than Hillary Clinton blaming Bill's rape victims, because she was there.
Definately rude!!!! I guess he hardly has to consider the idea that other people exist and might be using facilities he wants. I've heard he is a right pervert so he probably checked you out too.
Also meant to say, if you want any template design help -let me know! Happy to get creative if you want a change.
But you didn't finish the story. What happened after the crazy kennedy glared at you? did she drag him out of there? did she say something? we want, we need, we demand details!
I'm Canadian - and we used to get those Kool-Aid commercials too. Despite living in an igloo.
"Ohhhhhhhh YEAH"... good story.
First of all, if you're becoming obsessed with all things ass, you should visit Manny Kulkowskis blog
The Adventures of Phillip Hitech
Hilarious stuff there.
As to Ahnold and his leering at your ass, more power to ya lady! Besides, If I was in a seat of power with such a high profile, I'd probably go to high end men's stores and have a peek in the dressing rooms--pretending of course to be looking for my husband...I'd be acting all "Oh my gosh I'm so sorry! But wow, you really look good in those Calvin cline Shorties, woo!"
And your comment about old chisel cheeks Shriver---that woman has some serious issues with weight. NO ONES cheekbones and scapulas and clavicles look that way unless they are abstaining from FOOD. I'm not the only one I'm sure who noticed her dramatic decrease in weight several years ago. She looks like a walking friggin' mummy for god's sake!
I'm sure you're much healthier looking than her--and as such, that makes you more attractive, period.
(an aside: the comment made above by Lazy Asian, about the fact that they got those Kool-Aid commercials despite living in an igloo, put me on the floor I laughed so hard! LOL!)
Why would she sneer? You could carve a roast on her face.
Wow: a lot of hatred for Ave Maria, here.
Anonymous and Heart/SF: please be assured my very fragile ego is intact. No ego boosting needed. But thank you, nonetheless. In the future I promise to virtually hold up signs like the old 40's radio shows that had "APPLAUSE"... mine will just say "COMPLIMENTS"... and you'll know I am in need of some.
Britpopbaby: I am so touched you would offer to help! Alas, I am far too lazy to really stretch much beyond my current design at the moment, but I will continue to be inspired (and ashamed) when visiting yours.
Kallicles: sorry- I thought i told the most interesting parts. :) After that, Arnold was relegated to the middle of the store by the salesgirls, where he was harangued by the political opinions of other doting husbands left to their own devices in the middle of a half-off (ahem!) sale of overpriced clothing.
Lazy Asian- does the kool aid man wear ear muffs in canada...? is he really the popsicle man in northern climes..? Perhaps canadian kool aid man can enlighten-
Pamela and Chankin: funny you should mention that, but I was rather struck by her slice-a-tomato cheekbones, too. I found myself briefly wondering if maybe they were implants...? It's LA. Anything's possible. - She really is quite beautiful, though. Although she hates me. Which certainly detracts from her general visage-
So, most importantly. Did the jeans work out for you as well as they did for Arnold?
The women is frighteningly ugly. She is the stuff that real nightmares are made of. However, kudos for showing your ass to the mayor. If only we all could do that fromtime to time.
what a sick and scary man.
Hey There! Just came by to check for more of your great posts...I'll be back!
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