Rude In Public!

Go ahead. Type it out.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Bumper Sticker Hypocrites.

-Got nearly run off the road this morning by a PC-looking, NPR-listening bitch in an automobile sporting stickers saying:
- "SPIRITUALITY RULES"
- "WAR IS NOT THE ANSWER"
- "PRACTICE PATIENCE"
and
- "FREE TIBET" (always guaranteed to irk me on principle, since a looong time ago I dated a "free tibet" kinda guy who was an apeshit moron-- but that's a whole 'nother debacle.)

So she veers hairs-breadth close to me, forces me to veer off, myself... then rolls down her window (yes, ROLLS it down, like this is MY FAULT she has a 30-year old car without power windows) and starts screaming at me, "GET YOUR BIGASS SUV OFF MY ROAD".

(pause for reflection. pause for reflection.)

Well.
I should have let it go. I really should have.

But -- "MY road?" plus being all hopped up on morning latte? -the insult was too great to bear.
I put MY window down, and scream back, "PRACTICE PATIENCE, HONEY."
She honks her horn in frustration. So I honk mine. at this point, I am purely reactive. She then screeches that I am funding the war on terror, with my gas-guzzling 4-runner. Huh?? She lost me. I thought this was about her wanting to fight me because she ran me off the road. Which didn't really make sense to start... but now it's my car's fault? Was she trying to run me off in an attempt to make me crash and therefore have one less giant automobile on the road? Who knows.

All I do know is, I have yet to see the asshead with smug, sanctimonious bumper stickers who was anyone I wanted to know.
...Why IZZZZ that?

17 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh come on...you loved the motorcyle guy who was wearing a bumper sticker on his t-shirt that said..."If you can see this...the Bitch fell off"

12:19 PM, June 07, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh come on...you loved the motorcyle guy who was wearing a bumper sticker on his t-shirt that said..."If you can see this...the Bitch fell off"

12:20 PM, June 07, 2006  
Anonymous heartinsanfrancisco said...

ASSHEAD???!!! Again with the asses. I do see your point, though. (I feeeel your pain.) Why is it that the bumper stickers of the most spiritual persuasions are nearly always on the vehicles of those (assheads) who could most benefit from reading them? But clearly don't.

6:54 PM, June 07, 2006  
Anonymous Chanakin said...

I find a well-placed donkey punch quiets the "holier than thou" crowd down.

7:40 PM, June 07, 2006  
Blogger Kallicles said...

what the hell is a "donkey punch"?

8:11 PM, June 07, 2006  
Blogger Kallicles said...

I see insipid liberal bumper stickers all the time. "War is not the answer." Well, it depends on what the question is, shit-for-brains. If the question is, "how do we stop Hitler from exterminating the Jews", war seems like a very good answer. Similarly, if the question is, "how do we stop the Hitlerian nutjob in Iran from getting nukes and exterminating the Jews", DING DING DING, war once again seems like the winning double jeopardy answer.

I saw the following bumper sticker last week: "War is not pro-life." Oooooooh, such a clever little left-wing schmuck, trying to make conservatives look like hypocrites. War is very pro-life -- it's pro OUR lives. It's only because Lefties are entirely lost in moral relativism (and a pathological hatred for western civilization) that they can't tell the difference between us and our enemies, and value equally the lives of us and our enemies. Trying to equate (a) war against evil people trying to kill us with (b) the extermination of innocent life that isn't trying to kill us, is moronic.

8:33 PM, June 07, 2006  
Blogger Lazy Asian said...

donkey punch:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=donkey+punch

11:09 PM, June 07, 2006  
Anonymous heartinsanfrancisco said...

I googled "donkey punch." I'm really sorry I did.

11:42 PM, June 07, 2006  
Blogger Kallicles said...

Thanks lazy, just looked up donkey punch. Really sick, but laughing out loud.

7:52 AM, June 08, 2006  
Anonymous heartinsanfrancisco said...

yeah, well, as it turns out, I didn't really need to know that much about donkeys, er... asses (again.)

9:35 AM, June 08, 2006  
Anonymous heartinsanfrancisco said...

yeah, well, as it turns out, I didn't really need to know that much about donkeys, er... asses (again.)

9:35 AM, June 08, 2006  
Anonymous proudmary said...

so... I'm just wondering. Now that i know what A donkey punch IS... is this something the woman knows is coming, in advance? Or is she taken by surprise?
More importantly: people actually... DO this...? and is it so common that it's discussed as something TO be done...?
Many, many questions, this leads to.

12:53 PM, June 08, 2006  
Anonymous heartinsanfrancisco said...

We're all waiting to hear. Watch yer backs, ladies.

5:15 PM, June 08, 2006  
Blogger banjoeyes said...

Wait? What? People still have bumber stickers!!


You could have totally taken her with your BIGASS SUV!

9:07 PM, June 09, 2006  
Blogger Blogging for scraps... said...

yes, donkey punch - I remember now.... thank god for google.

I love those people who try to carve you off the road with stickers that say "rate my driving" - cocks.

2:39 PM, June 15, 2006  
Blogger Ruby Blathergab said...

Cause they all suck shit Mary. I'm real proud of ya for letting her have it with her own stupid mantras. Dumb bitch. Who needs em? Fucking Cunts.

All my Liquor Laced Love,
Ruby

P.S. Digging the comments section, ha ha ha

5:12 PM, June 15, 2006  
Blogger Ben said...

That was awesome.

My roommate in college was a FREE TIBET person. He stole my headphones.

I think that's why Tibet still isn't free: Bad public relations.

1:45 PM, June 19, 2006  

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