Rude In Public!

Go ahead. Type it out.

Monday, July 24, 2006

Unsolicited Advice.

Why is it ok to comment on someone's weight if she's thin, but definitely not if she's fat?

People: I'm stressed. Stress produces adrenaline, a main component of which is cortisol. Cortisol causes the metabolism to run rampant... as it also engages the "fight or flight" response in living organisms.

But enough about that. No one's really interested in science. Point is, for the love of god, I wish I had a new pair of shoes for every time someone commented on my body weight. I've grown pretty accustomed to this in general... but this morning the following irksome incident occurred:

Intro. early morning.
Wide camera angle, pans beach in Santa Monica.

Image: a few solo joggers, dog walkers, seagulls, and protagonist.

ok-- forget it. Let's cut the crap. This isn't a screenplay-- this is just an occupational hazard of living and working in L.A. sooner or later, you begin to see everything visually- even when it's irrelevant.

So basically- it's 6:45 am. I'm breathing in the ocean smell, feeling more and more relaxed by the second, and happy to start the day there by the sea. I start to stretch, so my aching geriatric muscles don't fray, and am also happy to feel myself moving deeper into the stretch. Immediately, this brief happiness is cut short by a woman passing me on a bike, who starts laughing loudly and harshly as she passes.
...I am not so paranoid that I assume this has anything to do with me, so I don't give it much thought. Until she hollers, "Don't work off what little fat you have!" I look over, and she says still laughing, "you're AWWWful skinny!" and cracks herself up, like this is the funniest thing ever.

Well. For some reason, this bothered me. Not just because a) i didn't know her, b) i didn't ask her opinion, or c) because she was putting me down... but chiefly because I was so happy for a nanosecond... and then in a moment, my first social interaction of the day felt unpleasant. I am always conscious of the first words I say to anyone after waking- I like to start my day positively, and I certainly don't wish the first discussion with anyone to be a fight. So I ignored her, and waited for a nicer opportunity to engage... (which came moments later, so thank you to the gentleman with the dog for the nice "hello"- and for not making me feel like a freak of nature.)

It's hard enough to be in your body sometimes, without people making you overly conscious of it. I do not like being jolted out of my own time and space to deal with someone else's issues. Not to mention, it would not have been remotely acceptable socially for me to have said, "hey, toots? don't bike on a flat surface anymore, ok? You've got some love handles there that could do better with a steep, uphill ride." i mean, honestly.

Sometimes I think the next time someone says something like this to me I will tell the offending party I have a dread disease, but thanks for the concern... but I don't even want to jinx myself by putting that out there. Any other creative ideas?

Friday, July 14, 2006

Sneaky Sex (/ "Are Men Pigs?")

Friend of mine has been progressively getting more naked with a dude each time they meet, but apparently had already expressly discussed the fact that she was not ready to actually Do The Deed. This was duly agreed upon by both parties, and then the dude tried to, shall we say, slip it past her. If this were a sitcom, the next line would be "hilarity ensued", but in real-life this led to a flaming blowout of a temper-match, with dude proclaiming it was an easy mistake for a guy to make, and further, she shouldn't be so juvenile. Now, I think dude is a piece of shit, but I'm throwing this out there as a question for the ages: is this kind of behavior NORmal in the dating realm? Seems to me it's a fine line between that and date rape, but a male friend of ours assures us this is actually a predictable turn of events, being that they were already rolling around in the altogether.

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Guys On The Make.

At a bar with friends. Guy zeroes in.. nice chat ensues...I fancy myself able to surmise he is decently witty, smart and not without a certain critical amount of charm.

Then he says to me, and I quote:
"Yeah, y'know... when guys are sizing up a chick for the first time, y'know, the very first time you lay eyes on someone new... you either think 'I'd do her!' or you don't..... so, since you're in the first category, what are the chances we could go out on a date...?"

I'm glad I'm not a guy. I really am. I mean, I guess you have to put it out there.... as it were.... but good lord. Doesn't anybody go on picnics anymore...? or something??