Mortification of the Flesh.

Check out this dumb schmuck: his tongue is pierced and split.
This brings to mind a number of pressing concerns for me. Chiefly:

• -Do both halves wiggle independently of each other? Or as if they're still joined?
• -Can he still drink margaritas??

People and their DOGS.

I like animals... I really do.
But why is it ok for a strange dog to be allowed to run on a long leash right up to me.... where he can then jump up, slobberingly lick me, put dirty paws all over me, and stick a snout somewhere it doesn't belong, all while his owner smiles on benignly like i obviously must be loving this?
There ought to be a rule...if I approach YOUR dog, cooing over what a cutie said dog is-- then fine, I get whatever it dishes out. But if you see your dog perk up his ears and run right over.... you have the duty to rein him in. Is that too much to ask? Honestly.