God Thinks You're Rude.

some of the weirdest shit I've ever seen revolves around Jesus and his Daddy- check this article out if you have any doubt. and take care when cursing the Almighty.

Elvis Was One Rudeass Motherfucker.

Not really. Actually, I kinda like Elvis. Just wondering if I can turn him into a keyword here that will send relevant ads my way for personal gain and profit...
(if this appalls you, see the most recent listing under "the truth.")
(and stop judging. it isn't nice.)

Put Yer City On the Map! The Illustrated "Rudeness Lives Here" Pictorial*.

So just a quick tally- here's the count so far (which may or may not be accurate, depending how sauced I was when I looked):

SoCal- (rude and self absorbed) 9
NorCal- (5? need more data. rude and....rude and... need more data.)
Midwest- Nada.
Southwest- 1 (rude and strange)
"Dixie" (Southeast)- 3 (rude and passive aggressive)
New York, NY: Start spreadin' the news... NYC might just be the rudest place around. Even though it appears to be less rude than Southern California-- you can't believe that, because I'm in SoCal, and I started this fiasco of accounting, so results are clearly biased. So let's just go out on a limb and call NY rude. We all know it... "rude" is to "new york" as "adam" is to "eve". That said, 5 counts of rudeness... (including the subsets "rude where body parts are used as lethal weapons"/ "rude and execratory"/ "rude and lewd".) Ah yes. A place I'm proud to call home. 5
Northeast, other- 1 (rude and overly academic)
Mid-Atlantic- 1 (rude and gritty)

These purely scientific results are likely to change, so check back!
* If you made it this far, you probably realize there isn't any picture. Hate to break it to ya, but there isn't any Santa Claus, either. However! once I get the time and inclination, there is actually a decent chance a pretty little picture may appear here for your viewing pleasure, so think of the title as a working title... a future statement, if you will. You may not like it, but hey: you think Santa deals out promises like that? You'll take what you can get. And like it.

Is Chivalry Dead?

Whether you like her or not, this is the smartest article I've read in a very long time on the subject of feminism and all unwitting fallout from same. I wish I had written the piece myself...
More to come.

....aaaand, we're back. Though I still don't have all the answers- or even most of them. I do wonder if feminism in some way killed chivalry- and I say this as a lifelong feminist myself, so no virtual rotten tomatoes, please. The problem is, there isn't really a perfect answer to the whole gender thing- new way, old way, to misquote Janis Joplin for a sec, "it's all the same goddamn day".
What I liked about this article was the essential contradiction in modern society she struggles to explore and define, and to stare in the face some hard questions we "modern women" have been trying to avoid asking ourselves.

I don't pretend to know. I guess the best thing is to find someone to work it all out with, whom you're compatible with in your eccentricities, and take it from there. Maybe for some people it works to iron your man's shirts, cook all the meals, agree with everything he says no matter how stupid or uninformed, and realign all your personal stars to orbit around his world. I don't mean that to sound snide- I rather wish I were like that, myself. I'm sure life was a lot less complicated before we had free will, and before feminism brought with it the notion that things could and therefore should change. If you never bought into that, and you settled down with someone more old fashioned, more power to you. If however, you still have difficulty articulating for yourself what your role in society should be-- if you find yourself one way outside your home, and another way when you're in-- if you change your behavior to fit your surroundings and idea of what's accordingly appropriate-- then you really ought to be asking yourself if we won, if we lost, if the war is all over yet, or if there was really ever a point.

The fact is: "Ms. Magazine" kinda lied. I liked the glossy cover, too, and the power-suited woman on the front with big shoulder pads and helmet-hair boldly proclaiming we could have it all. Who wouldn't want that? and why shouldn't we be able to? But like it or not, things we can't control, no matter how smart or accomplished we are, these "things" do have an impact. Age. Biology. Physicality. We are limited in how long we can breed. We feel a biological imperative to continue this pathetic, mostly hopeless race. We are, for the most part, smaller and less strong than our male counterparts. We can, though it pains me, be physically overpowered. We thought by being smart and accomplished and out of the house we could change all these things, but you can't fool mother nature, and at the end of the day, we are different, with different abilities and limitations. No matter how advanced we get, we are still ruled by the limbic system. Would that that were not the case. But it is... so now. how do we deal with that? How do we correct the pendulum swing to what makes sense? How do we even begin to understand the problems inherent with just being one or the other, and come to some sort of common ground on which we can all agree?

I've worked pretty hard to be independent and self reliant, and not need anything someone else has to offer. Yet I don't like it when a man doesn't open my door. Obviously I don't think i need someone to open the door for me-- it's just an innate chip in me somewhere- I don't like rudeness, which I frequently equate with a decided lack of chivalry. Yet men tell me I can't be both-- I can't have it both ways-- I can't be a feminist who kept my name and thinks no one out there is the boss of me... and yet, still want a hand in the small of my back when we walk, someone to open the door, hail the cab, walk on the outside of the street, carry the bag. Defend my dubious honor when need be. You know. Maybe this means I'm a super-bitch who wants it all.Maybe i'm just unrealistic. But that's what I was promised, growing up in the '70's, and I still feel like it's my birthright, somehow to get to be both women. The one who takes care of myself, and the one who gets protected.
Where does this all converge? Does it?

"Dutch Ovens"/ Other Farting Rudeness.

(apologies to the Dutch. I'm sure you're all quite pleasant people.)

There is a phenomenon of farting in bed with another human, then pulling the covers up tight over their head... so they can't breathe, can't escape, can't avoid The All-Encompassing Fart.

This is not rude, people. It's plain abusive. Stop it.STOP.

Rude, Crude and Cuddly: Rudeness in the Animal Kingdom.

It doesn't stop with us, folks: we're the product of millions of years of rude animal behavior, too- at least, if you believe in evolution. (if by some chance you don't, please exit immediately and return to Revival, where there's a chance you actually may be missed.)

Bathroom Rudeness.

- dare i delve into this disgusting topic? I dare.

Rumor has it (well estABlished rumor, at that)there's a certain chap at a certain major corporation who likes to doodie... then shake people's hands.
Sources in the men's room at said company say Doodiehead is NOT a hand-washer.
Rude? Malicious? Arrogant? You be the judge.

The Politics of Personal Rudeness.

Ok, I'm already thinking I've scraped bottom with this idea- but that said, I will still muddle on for a bit, regardless.

So I've been thinking about those times it becomes imperative to be rude, be cruel to be kind, something like that. Now, I'm not so dumb as to think I actually wrote the book on personal politeness, or anything... but I can guarantee that when I intentionally do something rude, it's to make a damn point. Because let's face it. Sometimes being polite just doesn't get the point across.

My annoying neighbor, "Roland"?

Dude actually stopped me the other night on my way in to tell me (not ask me, mind you-- which would have been quite inappropriate enough) to come rub his back, maybe rub some oil into his back- because apparently it hurt from some minor surfing accident.

Now, I don't know about you- maybe you're a lot more physically outgoing than I.. but I tell ya... I felt pretty skeeved out by this whole idea. Especially by the cheezy votive candles I suppose he had lit to create a pleasing "backrub mood". I'm leaving out a lot of details in the interest of my own personal nausea, but suffice to say that I felt very uncomfortable with this whole idea. But when I POLITELY let him know I felt very uncomfortable with this whole idea... he then whipped off his shirt, as though the mere sight of his stupid naked chest would render me powerless over my own decisions.

Now that's when I crossed from uncomfortable to plain pissed off.
And THAT's when it came time to get rude.
I don't like being put in situations where this is necessary-- but rudeness begets rudeness, and his whole approach was well beyond rude, not to mention insultingly amateurish for the intended result.

Incidentally: at the time this occurred, I was also struggling with my purse, my laptop bag, keys, mail, and a 50-lb. bag of cat food. A naked, oily chest is a dime a dozen in this town... but having the decency to have maybe helped carry the bag? Would have been a much smarter approach... though admittedly, still wouldn't have worked.

The Truth.

White lies. We all tell 'em...
Here's the place to speak the truth, so as to avoid upsetting the delicate social balance we call "manners". Think of it as the flip side of rudeness... a depository for all those things you're too nice to say... but not to think.

Rude In Public! is born.

Society has been devolving for a while, now... and maybe particularly because I live in L.A., I constantly notice examples of self-absorption in the extreme that kind of make me sorry to share a species with the offending party. It's a fact: we're getting ruder. We're also getting less and less inclined to notice other people, or remember anyone outside our own personal space bubble. The purpose of this forum is not to change the world, though that would be nice... but merely to create a place to vent/ note the latest infractions seen.

If the mood strikes you, also note where in the world the rudeness occurred, and maybe eventually we'll compile a list of the rudest places out there. Maybe, just maybe, raising awareness of rudeness will at least make us all marginally nicer in our day to day affairs. (which reminds me: call yourself out, too if need be. We're all rude from time to time, so no cheating!)

I'll go first.

So there I was, in line at the Venice P.O., which if you haven't been, is sort of like a receptacle for humanity, anyway. But on this particular day, I was struck dumb by the sheer animal stupidity and rudeness of the jackass in front of me- who decided to spend his time in line with about 20 or so other people testing each and every ringtone on his cell phone, volume turned up as loud as it would go. When he got through to the end of his list, he started again. And again. And again.. he went through the entire list of ringtones no less than 18 times while we were all stuck there in hell, forced to listen to "fur elise", "macarena", "livin' la vida loca" and my personal fave: salt -n- peppa's classic "push it".
Ooh, bay-bee, BAY-bee.