The Assinator.

The Governator saw my ass.
This weekend. In Santa Monica.

Big sample sale. Maria swanning about.
There I was, behind a curtain trying on some stuff, and Maria swept through the curtained off area with armloads of swag on her way to the restroom. I guess when you're famous, you don't have to try on shit in public. Anyway, a minute later Ahnold busts through the curtain like the Kool-Aid man on the loose (*note, if this cultural reference means nothing to you, you are either too young to remember '70's tv commercials, you are canadian, or both.)

anyway! There I am, ass-out, in skimpy skivvies. I freeze. He freezes. Then he just starts laughing, deep laughs from the belly. Which then makes ME laugh, however inappropriate. Then Maria gives me the evil eye like I've never seen-- the lady literally raked her eyes over me top to toe, up, down, up, down, up, down, again... then sneered at me as if to say, "YOU AINT ALL THAT". (no one can give a dirty look like a woman to another woman. especially, i suppose, when one has just shown her ass to the other's husband. even if unintentionally.)(especially ridiculous when you consider said lady is taller, richer and prettier than i'll ever be... but whatever.)

-- So I ask you. Was it rude of Ahnold to push back the curtains in a women's clothing store dressing area, governor or not? is it conCEIVable he didn't know what the curtain meant? Or was it rude that my ass greeted him, front and center?

Regardless... I am somewhat concerned that my posts seem to all be about asses lately- mine or others. I'm turning into a boob.

So where has THIS gem been all my life..?

NEW YORK (Reuters) - A 23-year-old with a foot fetish has admitted he tried to kiss, fondle and lick the legs and toes of more than 70 women on the New York subway over the last three years, prosecutors said on Wednesday.

In a handwritten confession to police released by the Manhattan district attorney's office, Joseph Weir said his aim was "to make them laugh and smile and open to talk to me."

Weir, who was arrested late last week after attacking a woman on a subway in lower Manhattan, is charged with forcible touching, sex abuse and unlawful imprisonment -- the latter charge referring to his habit of grabbing his victims' legs and not letting go.

He faces up to a year in jail if convicted and has been released on $6,000 bail until a court hearing on June 26.

In a rambling confession peppered with grammatical errors, Weir, who lives in Brooklyn, detailed how he accosted the women while riding the subways between Manhattan and the borough of Queens.

"I get on my knees, bow, grab their feet, kiss them. I grab their hand and tell them 'You're so beautiful. I'm not worthy,'" he wrote. "I do not give me real name. If they ask I will tell them my name is Anthony, Jason or Careem."

Weir said his motivation was to get to know the women, but he recalled that often they would move away when he tried to "taste and touch them."

"Some women had kick(ed) me and screamed," he wrote. "I've done this to about 70 women, mostly black."

Prosecutors said dozens of women had started to come forward to identify Weir, who told detectives in his confession that he lived with his parents and two sisters.

"I am currently unemployed," he wrote, adding that he had been fired from his previous job with a sightseeing company.

In his confession, Weir apologized to his victims, saying: "I don't mean to hurt no body and I am sorry."

Dirty Word of the Day:

"Spinner".

As in: "Yep, she's so little (/underweight/ petite/ etc.) I can spin her around while screwing her."

Lovely.