17 Year Old Coked-Out Bitches.

Nothing worse than a mean teenager, except a mean teenager who thinks she's The Queen. This morning at Starbucks (forgive me for plugging Starbucks again, but I can only comment on what I see, and where I am...) this little anorexic harpy was shrieking, literally shrieking at the barristas that she needed A HUNDRED AND TWENTY to-go cups of coffee NOW, because she "had to be at a photo shoot". like that's anybody else's frickin' problem.

They nicely told her they wouldn't be able to accomodate her for at least 10 minutes, best case scenario, as that many cups of coffee would require them to brew a massive amount in the back room that they didn't have at the ready. She stamped her foot and said, "But i TOOOOOLD you, I have to be at a PHOTO shoot. NOW. I am REALLY-REALLY important, and you do NOT want to make me angry." I don't know where this chick got the temerity. Honestly. She wasn't even Paris Hilton.

Suffice to say, I was amazed at how patient and nice they were with her, and steadfast in repeating the same message, despite her rapidly increasing agitation and demands. Finally she said, "FINE! I will take a walk and be back here in NO MORE THAN 10 minutes-- you BETTER have that coffee ready, or you will be VERY sorry." She said that... to people who could potentially put rat poison in her drinks. Then she flounced out, vibrating in hostility and self-righteous indignation. Naturally, I was next in line-- so I felt the need to apologize. Then they tell me- believe it or not-- she did the exact same thing yesterday. And they told her at that time she had to call in advance for an order that big. To which her reply was they were all losers who would never rise above their shitty starbucks jobs and have the kind of power she has.

So, the obvious issues with chickie aside-- here's the thing. someone who's stuck getting coffee for everyone else at a photo shoot? Hardly the bigshot she's pretending to be. And somehow.. the fact that she probably can't even legally smoke and is bawling out the nice 30 and 40 year olds who get up every morning to be at work by 5 to give caffeine to the rest of us... just didn't sit well with me. (Maybe this is what happens when the little girl in Saks grows up.) Bitches man, bitches.

Bumper Sticker Hypocrites.

-Got nearly run off the road this morning by a PC-looking, NPR-listening bitch in an automobile sporting stickers saying:
- "SPIRITUALITY RULES"
- "WAR IS NOT THE ANSWER"
- "PRACTICE PATIENCE"
and
- "FREE TIBET" (always guaranteed to irk me on principle, since a looong time ago I dated a "free tibet" kinda guy who was an apeshit moron-- but that's a whole 'nother debacle.)

So she veers hairs-breadth close to me, forces me to veer off, myself... then rolls down her window (yes, ROLLS it down, like this is MY FAULT she has a 30-year old car without power windows) and starts screaming at me, "GET YOUR BIGASS SUV OFF MY ROAD".

(pause for reflection. pause for reflection.)

Well.
I should have let it go. I really should have.

But -- "MY road?" plus being all hopped up on morning latte? -the insult was too great to bear.
I put MY window down, and scream back, "PRACTICE PATIENCE, HONEY."
She honks her horn in frustration. So I honk mine. at this point, I am purely reactive. She then screeches that I am funding the war on terror, with my gas-guzzling 4-runner. Huh?? She lost me. I thought this was about her wanting to fight me because she ran me off the road. Which didn't really make sense to start... but now it's my car's fault? Was she trying to run me off in an attempt to make me crash and therefore have one less giant automobile on the road? Who knows.

All I do know is, I have yet to see the asshead with smug, sanctimonious bumper stickers who was anyone I wanted to know.
...Why IZZZZ that?